Saturday, November 7, 2009

Where am I supposed to buy my 6 boxes of Tagalongs?

I cant help but think about the move. I've gotten over the shock of it all and have moved on to excitement. Joe really wanted to get out of this unit anyway. And there's a chance of deployment, which Joe wanted too. And from what everyone is telling me, Colorado Springs is incredibly nice and I will love it there. So excitement all around.

But going through my day, there is this constant sadness behind all my thoughts. It's not a heavy sadness, just a small after thought. And it's mostly silly stuff. I just figured out my way around post. And now I have to learn my way around a new one. I just found a GREAT hairdresser, and now I have to find a new one. And making small memories. Like this is what Kansas looks like in November. And remembering my first time in the Commissary and how nervous I was (too much structure for a grocery store and SO many people in uniforms! what can I say, total newbie!).

I love my friends at work. Some are like sisters to me. I can come to them with anything and I know they will be there for me. And I am leaving them here. I have never had friends like this before. It makes me consider the importance of friends. But also not going out of my way to make friends anymore. Many people have said that Army wives bond very quickly because we need that personal connection. But how can we lose these GREAT friends every two years? How can one live like that? But like I've been saying to people for the last two days, this is what we Army wives do. We follow our husbands. We pick up and move in a month's notice. And in a year, I know I will have new friends with a new job in a different place. And all of these thoughts will fade. And I will make a life for myself somewhere else.

This move feels harder than leaving home for the move up here. I will always go home to visit. I will always have a connection to Paris, AR. I can call up my mother anytime I want. I can see her occasionally (granted, far less when we're in CO). But these friends here, I don't know if I will ever see them again. I have no reason to ever be in Junction City, Kansas ever again. Like Lucy says, I can always come visit. And it's halfway between me and my hometown. So I might have to drive through occasionally. And I will most definitely go see Lucy. But I'm not sure they will ever happen either.

We lay down plans and ideas, and maybe I was naive in my thinking, maybe it's a newbie Army wife thing, but I never stopped to think that I wouldn't be here to see my co-workers lima bean. Or Lucy's husband return home. So do thoughts and attitudes change as a seasoned Army wife? Before you commit to ANYTHING, do you first think about your next PCS move? I cant buy Girl Scout cookies here! I wont be here when they come in. A week ago, I would have ordered 6 boxes of Tagalongs and never had a second thought about where I would be in February.

Just a few thoughts...

1 comment:

Julie said...

Hi from another Army wife :)

Moving can be so hard. We are at our 2nd duty station and about to PCS to our 3rd. Although this one is big. From Germany to the US. I am not sure how I will feel about it all. I will miss my friends for sure. I don't want to always live like I am moving. For example saying I won't hang a picture frame on the wall because we will PCS in 4 months. I don't want to live like that but it is hard.

And saying goodbye is just hard. But I know I will see people again if I want to. I met up with a friend who PCSd from Germany while I was visiting California this past summer. It is just a matter of being in the right place and making it happen.