Surreal

The theme for this year: What we Military Spouses do is NOT normal!!

I know my friends on Twitter have heard me say that a few times. But sitting in the movie theater today, it hit me again. What we do is so surreal.

My husband is deployed. And I say that, type that, still almost in disbelief. He's been in Kuwait for a while now. I havent had to worry about him. But that will all change shortly. So while I am enjoying my Sunday with friends laughing at a children's movie (that was very good, by the way) my husband is in the desert, preparing for a war zone.

Do I feel guilty? Should I feel guilty? Should I stay in my house and mope all the time? I start to feel really bad about sounding happy when he calls. Playing with the dog. Telling him about meeting new friends for coffee. Jokes with old friends. Sleeping in our bed. Not having sand in my eyes. I'm fairly certain I've posted a "should I feel guilty blog" already. And of course I shouldnt feel guilty, and of course... I do sometimes.

I just find it extremely bizzare and amazingly surreal that while I am sitting in a dark movie theater on a bright sunny Sunday, my husband is deployed (once again, typed in disbelief). Most people dont have this thought. My mother never had to have this thought about my father. This whole life is still so foreign to me, especially this new deployment chapter. I have new thoughts about being an Army wife daily. And I know they arent new to many Army wives, just new to me.