Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My soldier?

I have a small vent I need to chat about. I dont know why this bothers me, it just really does. I'm sure if I sit here long enough, I will analyze it to death and come up with some reason why.

But why do these women insist in calling their significant others in the Army, "my soldier"? I have said it before, Joe didnt wear his class As in the wedding because I was marrying Joe, not some character of my husband. He's a person, not a career. Yes, people say, "The Army is your life." Ehh. It's a job. Does he refer to me as his "psychologist"? Of course not. My mom doesn't go around calling my father her "engineer" so why do Army wives and girlfriends use this silly label? Mate guarding? They want to feel special about their partner's career? Is it like trying to wearing their rank? Are we in this special club? Cant you be an individual married to a person?

Now, what I'm about to say might piss a lot of people off, but so be it, it's just an observation. I see this label used mostly by young army wives and girlfriends. Really, when was the last time you heard a wife of a 16 year career invested soldier refer to her husband as "my soldier"? I have a few examples off the top of my head, and they NEVER say "my soldier's deploying." They say "my husband leaves in a week..."

What is this a sign of?

Maybe it's just me.
Maybe it's how I was raised.


Samantha the ArmyWife said...

Hey lady. I'm sure someone will be offended by that. I think people are entitled to different opinions without being offended. :) I'm unique that way. lol Anyway, I refer to my husband as "my soldier" mainly when I'm writing. Not nearly as often when I'm speaking. It's "Kevin" in normal conversation.

I think for me, it's more to do with that fact that in te Army he is a #... one of the many. But in an Army setting. He's MY soldier (always knowing of coruse, I come 2nd to the needs of the Army, and that he's technically Government property).

That's just one theory. I really haven't given much thought to why I refer to him as "my soldier". Along the same lines, I also call my husband "babe"... Does it matter? You are a smart woman and educated so I don't mean that to be shitty. But just giving you another direction to take the thought...? :)

Nadine said...

I refer to my husband as "My Soldier", I'm sure I'm one of them that annoys you. He is my Soldier. His profession is not like another, there are many qualities that are unique to being in the military and I am proud of that. I am proud that my husband joined voluntarily and serves voluntarily. I love that him being a Soldier is also something he is proud of. For me it's a term of endearment. I don't always refer to him as "My Soldier", sometimes I refer to him as "My Love" or "My husband". And sometimes I even call him "My Sexy Soldier", lol.

Now you know what really irks me? When people take it one step further and say I love my Sergeant or I love my whatever rank he is...but that's just me, lol

Nadine said...

Oh I had another thought. I think for me like if I say "I'm going to snuggle up to my Soldier", it's a way to show appreciation to having him home because he's not home often due to his job and I can appreciate that small thing, does that make sense? Oh well it's 1 a.m., lol

Army Duck said...

Sometimes I will say to B for example when shopping "where to now soldier" but I don't think I ever in conversation refer to him as my soldier. Maybe it's because the Army is often referred to as a soldiers mistress so we are trying to take ownership of them lol..

Anyway, I'm enjoying your blog ;-)

The Army Wife said...

yeah I don't refer to my husband as "my soldier" ... I think he would smack me if I did. LOL. I can understand it in personal situations (like Army Duck said) but saying it just to say say it? My friends know my husaband is in the army. They don't need a reminder everytime I talk about him.

Jen said...

This drives me insane!!! I cringe when I hear wives/girlfriends call their spouse/boyfriend "my soldier." When I hear this phrase, I automatically think, "white trash." I know that will piss some people off, but it's my opinion.

I've never refered to my husband as "my soldier." Nor will I ever.

And many moons ago when we got married, J. wore a suit and I wore a wedding dress...the Army had nothing to do with our wedding vows. Besides the fact, I would have balked at wearing Class A's or Dress Blues instead of a wedding dress! :)

Sara said...

Ahh... Jen brings up a good point. Do Army husbands refer to their soldier wives as "my soldier"?

Thanks for all of the views and opinions. I heard it again yesterday and this morning online. It still makes me want to roll my eyes and shake my head.

I guess I just feel like Joe's not "my soldier", he's the military's soldier. He's MY husband!

Anonymous said...

Hey Mrs. Sara,
Well i for one have to agree with you. My husband is in the military, as am I. Now if i went around referring to my husband as 'my soldier' he would slap the shit out of me. The army is his career, not what defines him. Therefore i do not refer to him as 'my soldier'. In doing so would depersonalize my husband, and make him sound like a purchased warrior, (mercenary) Heres a hint to all the new army spouses out there, at the end of the day we do not need to be reminded of what we do; we get it, we need support, love, and recognition of who we are and not what we do.

Sara said...

Thanks to onesexxxyb for her candid opinion. It's REALLY nice to have a female soldier's view on this topic.

Thank you and your husband for your service!

(army)Wife said...

I've never really thought about it, but I think it's more a term of endearment than anything to those who use it. To many people the term "soldier" is another word for "hero." When a little girl says, "My daddy is my soldier," can we find fault with that because in her mind he's a soldier and therefore, a hero? Why can't a wife feel the same way?

My hubs is my hero, my soldier, the man who would break down doors and necks and fight to the death to keep me and our son safe...he's my everything. Looking all sexy in his uniforn on our wedding day and everyday he goes to work, well, that's an added bonus in my book :)

Holly said...

After 12 years of being an Army Wife, I call him "my pain in the ass" :D I am the same way as you Sara; I married TIM, in a tuxedo and at the time, we were both in the Army. Yes, the Army is the life we've chosen, but it won't be our life forever, but he'll be my husband forever :)

Now I know this doesn't apply to MOST Army Spouses, but I have run across people who use the term "my soldier" in public to get attention/special perks. Like I said, MOST people don't do this (so don't kill me!), but I have seen it happen on occasion and it could be one reason why the term is used.

Sara said...

I'm not trying to cut down anyone's career or husband. You can still think all soldiers are heros. I personally dont give them all that title. I know QUITE a few that dont deserve it. That title is earned, not just handed out with your ID card.

It's the possessiveness of it. Like (army)wife says, the child says "My daddy is my soldier". The kid isnt taking possesion of the soldier, he/she is seeing him as a father. My husband is a soldier. It's a fact. But he's not "my soldier" he's the Army's soldier. It just irks me when people say it, that's all.

I am very proud of my husband and tell people he's an Army soldier with great pride. But I'm far more proud of him for the person he is and the things he does outside of the Army than I am for the day to day junk he does. He's far more to me than a soldier. Honestly I never think about him as "my soldier," I think about him as my husband.

(((((((On a different note, has anyone noticed the pattern here? ROFLMAO. I never thought my point would be proven by the comments to my blog.)))))))