Saturday, January 16, 2010

Too many previews

I had a great day with Joe yesterday. He took me to see The Lovely Bones, a fairly sappy movie. But he knew how much I wanted to see it and he sat through it like a champ. Then we went to The Macaroni Grill with our friend Ed and his wife. During dinner we all decided to go see The Book of Eli. While watching the previews before The Book of Eli, a preview came on that opens the DAY Joe is supposed to deploy. He gives me this look. "I wanted to see that movie." And it hit me all at once. I'm going to be here, in Colorado, while Joe is flying to Iraq. Isnt this just a surreal thought? Why on Earth do we sign up for this? I was watching previews for movies that I will be able to watch in the following year... without Joe. Most people dont have to have this thought. I've been an Army wife for almost 3 years now, and I've never had this thought before. We've had too many deployment "scares" to even count, but this time is so different. He's leaving. It's a fact. And I have to figure out a way to deal with this and deal with a life alone for a year without my husband.

I think I had a rough idea of what I would think, what I would feel. I used to imagine what it would be like to watch Joe leave one day and not come home for 12 months. I think all Army wives try to imagine what it will be like. But this isnt pretend anymore. Watching those previews yesterday just kinda brought it all home for me.


But there will come a time, not so long from now, where I will watch a preview before a really sappy girlie movie and think to myself, 'by the time that comes out, my husband will be home.'


6 comments:

Samantha the ArmyWife said...

I saw the Book of Eli last night also... hmmm! What'd you think. I was BORED witless!

Sara said...

I liked the ending. I thought that was a surprise. Joe and I decided it was a lot like Waterworld, only the opposite... sorta.

Kayla Sue said...

Hi Sara,

I'm new to your blog, and I'm also new to this army wife world! My husband has only been in the army for a year and a half, and right now he's on his first tour in Iraq. I definitely know how surreal it is to realize your husband is going to be gone soon, and right now I'm finding it surreal that mine is going to be back on his r&r soon!!

I also just saw the lovely bones last night. Did you read the book? I'm wasn't sure if I enjoyed the book or not, and I'm still undecided if I liked the movie or not! :)

HellcatBetty said...

Deployment scares suck a lot, we've had those too. But when reality hits and they actually leave it's a whole different ballgame. However, I know you're a strong lady and you can handle it. And for the times you fall apart, we're always here to pick you up and put you back together again :)

Sara said...

Welcome Kayla Sue! I read the book a few years ago. Oddly enough, it's always been one of my favorite books. I'm not sure I "loved" the movie, but it's okay. Doesnt follow the book close enough. But I think they had a great cast and Mark Wahlberg did a great job.

Are you on Twitter? We have a GREAT military family there. Hellcat Betty (above) is a great friend I met on Twitter. I'm sara0120 on Twitter.

Julie said...

I am not sure if my last comment went through? Anyway, just know we are all here for you. The part right before the deployment is so hard. I also remember when it gets close to the end and I would see a movie preview or a TV starting AFTER he was suppose to be home and I would get very excited about it!!!