Sunday, January 17, 2010

Army wife guilt?

Is this a normal thing?

Do you feel guilty?

That you get to stay home.

That you arent in danger.

That you arent miles from your home.

That you get to sleep in your bed.

That you arent at war.


Java Cupcake said...

I have this guilt all the time. And this guilt is the main reason why I hardly leave the house... I feel too guilty doing things my husband can't because he's there and I'm here.

For example, I've promised to take my daughter to see Avatar today... but I do not want to do it because my husband can't be with us and I know he'd love to see it too. If it weren't for Emily, I'd never see another movie while he was gone.

It's hard... and no one else understands this guilt feeling, except for other wives. I just have to keep telling myself my husband wants me to be happy and that it's not healthy to stay in my house all the time and not do anything fun.

You're doing a great job... keep feeling what you're feeling, loving your husband and remember to take care of yourself.

You can do this!!

<3 Betsy

Sara said...

Thank you so much for being so honest. I'm a home body anyway. I got a dog in college so I at least had to go outside my apartment occassionally. It's sad, but I made friends much faster once I got my yorkie. I made a friend last night because of that little dog.

Even now, Joe is trying to poke me about having fun while he's gone. "You better go see that movie, it's a chic flick and I'm not going to go see it with you when I get back." He loves that I have a friend here already and always tells me to go hang out with her (That's you Tammy!). His best buddy just got married and he wants us wives to be good friends too. I guess he's just making sure I'll be okay for the year he's away.

But I fear that having fun will make me feel horrible. So when he calls me, do I tell him that we all went out to dinner and had a great time? He says he wants to hear about me having fun. But I'm know I will feel so bad about it. He said he wants to think about me having a great year, not sitting at home moping about the deployment.

The Mrs. said...

I find myself feeling guilty that he misses out on so much with our kids. That he's always saying goodbye to them and missing out on things with them so that he can go out and do his job. His job that ultimately he does for us.

Your doing a job to though, you have to remember that your supporting him and we all know that loving a military man isnt always easy.

hang in there.

TheAlbrechtSquad said...

I do feel bad that he has to venture out all alone and I'm left here my kids. I seriously feel bad about that.

I used to have that guilt about doing things while he's away but I'm past that, my life can't stop because then I will find resentment in it and that isn't healthy either. I'm fortunate after many years, I have found a healthy balance.

That doesn't mean I don't have my days where I feel bad about him being out in the elements he's in and I'm in an environment that is luxurious by comparison.

I guess I'm saying you're far as this lifestyle goes anyway ;)

HellcatBetty said...

I used to have guilt, but hubs told me to get over it. When he first left I felt so bad telling him about anything fun I did, or seeing friends that I know he misses.

But then he made it clear that he WANTS to hear about all of those things. He wants to know that he didn't leave me at home to just sit on the couch and cry all year long. He says he lives vicariously through me for the year so he wants to hear about all the fun stuff I do.

And so I got over the guilt and try to do as much as I can. Granted, being in school makes it so I don't have time or money to do a lot, but I try! I think I'm pretty lucky to have a husband who supports me in that way and is happy just to see me happy. Just one of the many reasons I love him!

But I can't wait until I don't have to share it all via computer/phone and he can just enjoy life right long side me again.

stefanie said...

Honestly, I have never felt guilty. My husband loves his job and what he does. He is proud of serving for his country. He never complains. This makes it so so much easier.

kanishk said...

it's not healthy to stay in my house all the time and not do anything fun.

Work from home India