Day 5

I have a journal for all the mushy stuff. I've journaled since I was 17 and in college. I love to look back and read them. This journal is a completely different color so I know it's for the year of the deployment.

But I want to make sure I blog a little too. I'm still getting used to sharing my emotions with strangers. Yeah, there are a few of you that don't feel like strangers anymore. But I don't know many of you. And I know some people follow this blog because I am an Army wife, so I want to stay true to that and share that experience.

Today is day 5. Today I am thankful for Rigel.

It's been a pretty okay day so far. I had an easy morning and then went to lunch with some friends and their kids. I love that kids are such a great distraction from my own thoughts. I think they are funny and creative. I love to just listen to them talk to their siblings.

The nights haven't been as bad as I thought they would be. I've been so tired by the time I hit the bed, I usually just pass out.

I haven't heard from Joe today, but he warned me that he might not have time to call. Training started today. But I've been very lucky to talk to him as much as I have. He called me once in Germany in route, and then three times since he's been at his current spot.

While Joe was here, I used to think about what it would feel like to be here alone. He would be in his game room. And I would be in the living room. And I would pretend I was alone. As hard as I ever tried to think about it, there is no comparison. There is no comparison to actually being alone in the house.