While sitting on my couch in the middle of Colorado, I am IMing with Joe on Yahoo! chatting with him about all sorts of things. And he mentions that he's now "on alert". So he explains to me what that means. And what happens if there is some sort of attack. And how fortified his FOB is and how safe he thinks he is. So I shouldn't worry. And he tells me the different between missiles and mortars and air raids. And the motion sensors. And the concrete block walls. Like it's nothing. Just a fact of life.
And I just stare at the screen. I think I'm still in denial. Chatting with Joe feels like old times when he was in Germany. I would skip my first class so I could talk to him before he went to bed. I have to remind myself that Joe is on a night shift monitoring a radio all night long. In a war zone. A WAR ZONE, Sara!! People are lobbing missiles and mortars at your husband. No matter how many times I say it, even out loud, I just cant believe it.
As much as I would love to say I am over it all and have accepted our situation, I really don't think I'm there yet. Some days I think I'm closer than others. But other days it just pisses me off. Still! My Husband Is Deployed!!!??? God Damn It!! LOL! I was in Target buying bedding to send to him and I was PISSED that I had to do it. And then other days I'm in serious denial. And yesterday I was just so sad that I couldn't just touch him, just for a few minutes. I'm thankful that I don't have many sad days. It really zapped me emotionally.
But today I'm hopped up on caffeine, cleaning my house, making a pot of beans, and enjoying the beautiful day here in the Springs. :)