Friday, April 2, 2010

Sexually deprived for your freedom??

I know you have all seen the bumper stickers and blog buttons. Leading up to this deployment I would see them and just glare at it. I prepared myself to be without Joe "intimately."

But 17 days into this deployment, sex is not what I miss. I know it hasn't be that long and there might be some readers farther into their deployment laughing at me now, but let me explain.

There is not a bumper sticker or blog button for the aspects of married life that I miss right now. Holding his hand. Waking up with a kiss at 5am before PT. Making dinner with him. Watching him pester the dog. Listening to him snore asleep on my lap. Talking to him. Just talking! About our day, television shows, current events, just daily life. I had a mini meltdown about a neighborhood child bothering my dog and I start pacing in my house just wanting to vent to someone!! And it hit me... I miss my husband. I try so hard to go through my day without thinking about the things that are lacking in my life right now. But in that moment, I needed my husband just to listen to me complain and have someone validate my feelings and anger.

So no, I don't miss the sex yet. I just miss..... him. All of him. All of my marriage.

In the movie Shall We Dance, Susan Sarandon's character has a line: "We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

Isn't that why we get married? To share our lives with the person we love more than anything in this world? I know I've said it before, but it's once again become glaringly obvious in my life, what we Army wives do is not normal.


Kayla said...

What a great quote! I've never seen that movie before, but now I have to rent it!

Expat Girl said...

Urgh its so not normal ,I never envisioned falling so deeply in love just to have a long distance relationship with him. Like you said its the little things that I miss the most...the way he would talk through a whole movie so that I couldnt hear the TV....yea I would put up with that right about now!

A.J. said...

That is so true. :)

Can I grab the button that you made that I think very well states what we are deprived of every time they are gone? :)

Sara said...

Of course A.J.!! I just edited something I found on Photobucket.

Dawna said...

I really have to agree with you, Sara. I think that's what I miss the most. The companionship...

I like the button! Might have to make another one that says "Best Friend" in lieu of Husband, but it all means the same... :-)

BIG Hugs to you!

MommyTaco said...

I really like this post for two reasons, 1) I used this exact "sexually deprived for your freedom" for my MySpace photo during our last deployment and had a tshirt made with it. Everyone loved it...tho I made sure not to wear it around my mom or grandparents :P and 2) I have been mulling a blog post in my head for weeks now basically about the same thing - it's not the sex that I miss, I really miss my husband but honestly of all the intimate things I miss about him being here, sex is at the bottom of the list. Don't mistake that for me not going to pounce on him at the first opportunity though. ;)