First things first, 19 weeks down!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!
Now - My damn gallbladder!! I didn't even know I HAD a gallbladder until Monday. Stupid damn gallbladder. I have been having these somewhat random attacks in the middle of the night. At first I thought it was heartburn. Then food poisoning. Then I was convinced I had an ulcer because of the stress of the deployment, even though I thought I was doing okay with this dumb deployment. So 4 attacks later, I finally told my mom about this randomness. She called me back 30 minutes later saying that my grandmother had her gallbladder out when she was 35 and had the same symptoms. So I looked it up. And sure enough, that sounds just like the attacks I'm having. I told Joe and he made me promise that I would see a doctor. So after a horrible Monday morning calling Tricare and the damn appointment line for my PCM, I was seen by an awesome doctor and had blood taken that day. And an ultra sound was done on Tuesday. I've never had an ultrasound before. It was slightly weird. And I couldn't tell what the lady was looking at. I'm not sure how someone is supposed to tell me if my gallbladder is broken if I couldn't even tell it was a gallbladder. But I'm not a doctor, probably a good thing too. But now we're just waiting, waiting on a phone call. The radiologist and my doctor will look at the ultrasound pics and my blood work and decide if I need surgery or not. If both of these things come back clear I will be in for more tests. But basically, there are 4 things that can cause these symptoms, and 3 of them require an operation to remove my gallbladder. The 4th thing still requires a procedure, but it isn't as invasive. I should get a call some time today. Fingers crossed. I just want answers at this point. I would hate to have to go in for more tests.
I keep looking at my tummy. It's not flawless, I'm chubby and I have a few normal marks on it. But I've never had surgery before. I keep imagining the scars on my tummy. I have been told they will be very small. But I just don't know what to expect. Will they be healed before Joe gets here for R&R?? Or will they be that light pink wound still? I told my mom this. And she told me that this was just life. And I had to deal with the outcome. But there are lots of things now that can be applied to scars to help them fade.
Although, they weighed me Monday, always a fun time. But I had a number burned in my brain from the last time I was dumb enough to weigh myself. And the number yesterday was 20 pounds lower!! Woohoo!! I looked up how much a gallbladder weighs, hoping it was at least a good pound or two. Negative. 8 ounces. Damn gallbladder.
This week has been really hard, but only because of my faulty gallbladder. I've had some really bad nights. I miss Joe. I want my mommy. I haven't felt this alone since D-day. Which is just STUPID because I will be talking to Joe on Skype and my mom on the phone while Rigel is licking my face and still feel so alone.
Joe has been amazing though all of this. It was his prompting that made me even call a doctor. He offered to try to do an emergency leave sort of thing and come home for the surgery. But I told him not to. I don't want my faulty gallbladder to ruin his leave plans. And my mom and/or dad and/or my grandma can be here in a day's notice. He's been very understanding though, letting me fill our skype conversations with all of the details, all of my questions, and fears, and reassuring me that everything will be fine.
"What are you sorry about, its not your fault, I'm just sorry I can't be there the one time you really need me."
This single line brought tears to my eyes while I was in the waiting room in the hospital.
So if you are reading this and have had your gallbladder removed, please leave me a comment and tell me about the outcome. If you haven't had your gallbladder removed, what is the most invasive surgery you have had? So far, the only surgery I have had was when my wisdom teeth were removed. And that wasn't too bad. I don't remember much. But I personally think that that surgery isn't as invasive as a "real" operation. Does that make any sense?? I keep imagining having to walk to the back by myself and changing into the gown and watching everyone as they put the IV in and put me under... :( uuggghhhhhh!!