Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas or Bah Humbug?

I have been married to Joe since the Summer of 2007. That in the ONLY tree we've ever had the opportunity to put up.

Christmas 2007 we were moving to Kansas.

That picture was taken Christmas of 2008.

Christmas 2009 we were moving to Colorado.

And this year? Well, I'm just not in a super holiday spirit. The holiday season keeps poking me in the side, trying to get me jump started. But I just cant. I have Christmas cards up around my entertainment center. I have stockings up. I have small Christmas decorations up around my house. I've been opening up one present a day since the 1st thanks to my mother and her advent calendar. Christmas has invaded my house, but not my heart. I am going through the motions. But I just dont feel it this year. I still have the tree in the picture above. I even have a really cute wreath that I wanted to put up on my door. But I just have no motivation this year. I am more excited about Joe's small tree in his Chu surrounded by presents. I want him to feel the love of the season even though he is far away. And in a very ironic turn, I feel like I shouldnt be happy about Christmas. It's a great excuse to be lazy about the whole month.

So what Sara, is this post a huge pity party? Maybe. I dont have kids to put on a smile for. I will cuddle with Rigel and talk to Joe on Skype, maybe I'll get a phone call. This is the best Christmas I can hope for. Basically, this Christmas is just another day closer to Joe returning. It doesnt feel like Christmas Eve. My mom will call me from the family holiday party, and I will cry. But I cry about a lot of stuff. :) Last year was a pretty rough Christmas, I would say worse than this one. We were living in a Holiday Inn motel room, as we had just moved here. My mom called me and I cried. Joe felt bad. We knew he wouldnt be here for the next Christmas, this Christmas. But Joe went out of his way to make sure I had a good day. We went to breakfast Christmas morning. Then went out to the Garden of the Gods and took a nice stroll together. Last Christmas was sad. This Christmas is just like... ehh, blah. But I DO have great plans! I'm going out to eat with my neighbors tonight. And then to a friend's house tomorrow. She has kids and I look forward to seeing their sweet smiles on Christmas Day. I got them small gifts too. And I can bring Rigel. So inspite of this little pity party, dont feel bad for me. It's another GREAT day closer to seeing Joe again! And almost the end of 2010. So it's a happy day, despite the blahness in my mind.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

I can totally sympathize with your "blahness." I'm with family and I'm still feeling just blah. I think it's just that our husbands are gone. *sigh* Hope you have the best Christmas possible!

Nina said...

As you say, every day Joe is one day closer to home so that only is a good reason to have a happy day.
I hope you and Rigel have a wonderful Christmas weekend - as good as it can be. Hugs to you!

Samantha the ArmyWife said...

I totally feel last years pain, this year. We're in the hotel on post here in Germany. It's sucky... I think it would be hard being away from the family at Christmas, regardless, but being stuck in some crumby hotel just adds insult to injury! Boo.

I hope you find a way to have an amazing Christmas and I hope Joe is in good spirits as well! Merry Christmas!