Saturday, April 2, 2011

Disposable Friends

Joe and I were having a conversation the other day about my friends vs. his friends and it got me thinking. Initially, I was kinda annoyed and had thoughs like- "Joe thinks his friends are better than mine, we always hang out with his and NEVER with mine." It's true, we NEVER do anything with any of my friends. We never go out to dinner with them. We never go to Denver with them. We never have them over to the house.

In Kansas, this was related to rank. My best friend was married to an officer. And Joe had a problem with this. So we never did anything with them. Dont even get me started on rank and Joe's opinion on things. I've discussed it before. I think it's stupid, but Joe has to play by the rules, so I will try to understand.

And the more I thought about it, I realized I do have disposable friends. Most come and go in my life, not really best friends, just around while our lives seem to touch, then are off doing other things. This doesnt really bother me. I only have about 3 really true friends in my life. Friends that you dont talk to for 3 months, then pick up the phone and start the conversation where you left off ---an Army wife from Kansas - who is hands down the sweetest most thoughtful person I've ever met, one life long childhood friend who shares my name, and a very good friend from college who is also an Army wife and also shares my name (strange but true, I have two awesome friends with the name Sara(h))

But now.... I have really awesome friends. I have friends that stuck by me when Joe was deployed. That let me cry on their shoulder and picked me up for dinner to get me out of the house. And I want to include them in my life. So now that Joe is home, I have to figure out how to balance these friends and Joe.

So when Joe wants to go out with his friends, I'm invited of course and I go sometimes. So when I go out with my friends, Joe is also invited, but rarely wants to go. Maybe it's a boy thing. But I will be making a great attempt at keeping the great friends I have here in the Springs. I hope that some of the things my friends and I have planned can really come true, like us and the spouses going to a shooting range, or out to dinner, or to the movies. This is my promise to myself, I will be a better friend. :)


Shana said...

This is the hardest part of growing up to me. I actually talked about this recently... my life changes drastically every few years, not sure why but it does. It seems that with that change my friends change too... there are a few really good ones that have been through hell with me and are still there to be excited when I talk to hubby or sad with me when he leaves.
I have learned to just be grateful for those few.

Renee said...

Trying to balance the life during deployment with the life after deployment has its challenges. Our best friends (who live next door) barely invited me to hang out..I'd watch them swim in their pool ALL DAY without a call to invite me, knowing I was alone. Now that husband is back they can't get enough of us.

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Lisa said...

P is the same way. If he hangs out with his friends, I'm invited, and usually like to go. But if I mention that we've been invited to hang out with my friends, he rarely goes.

I don't get it.