Sunday, April 25, 2010


I have a small pet peeve to vent about for a moment - constantly competitive people.

I have seen this happening a lot on Twitter and Facebook lately. Not just to me either. I think it needs to be said that people can be sympathetic and empathetic without trying to "one up" someone else. For us military spouses, Twitter is a great place to vent and get helpful advise and hear about other spouses' experiences. And I LOVE to hear from more experienced people. This Army life is nuts and it's very nice to hear about the problems others have so we can all learn from their experiences.

But trying to one up another person in their lowest moments does not help! We've all seen it happen. Someone will tweet that they are having a bad day because of x, y, and z. And someone else will tweet back, well not only do I have x, y, and z, but I also had a, b, and c happen to me today. Or my personal favorite- I hate ______ because of this and this! And someone will actually reply back to them, I hate ______ more because this and this and THIS! What's the point?? Cant we all be sympathetic or reply to our fellow military spouses without wanting to become the center of attention?? It's perfectly fine to just say, sorry hun, I hope it all passes soon. Or even, yeah, my day sucked too, lets have a Twitter wine fest (yeah, I stole that from last week, I still think it's a good/fun idea!)!!

I think this "one up-ing" shows a real immaturity on their part. I don't need that in my life right now. I have unfollowed a few people because I don't want to hear them constantly try to compete with someone else's bad day or feelings. All humans need someone to validate their feelings, but competing with them doesn't help anyone. If you have helpful advise or a similar experience that can help them out, bring it on! But dont compete with them!! Let them have their moment to express themselves without trying to one up them.

And sadly, I know the people that this blog is SERIOUSLY aimed at will never read it. But I needed to get that off my chest.


Expat Girl said...

Glad you got it off your chest! I left you something at my blog!

Anonymous said...

I agree, girl!

Anonymous said...

A-men! I hate when people tell me I have nothing to complain about because my husband only goes on 4 month deployments and there's is on a 12.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. Totally hate my phone's auto-correct. I definitely know the difference between "their's" and "there's".

Alison said...

I totally agree! This one annoys me too - I have a high school friend who uses the misfortune of others to look good on facebook...she'll mention their problem and spend a good 3 sentences saying how she knows them and what wonderful things she's done for them and how she has escaped the same situation. Somehow I never saw how that was appropriate when someone you met ONCE husband is a combat casuality. I don't have the nerve to say anything to her though...I really should.

ShanonRenee said...

I've never understood the one-up mentality either.

I'm glad that you liked my twitter wine party idea I think I will host another one one day this week!