Monday, May 17, 2010

MONTH TWO!!

Day 62
Yep, as of today, Joe has been gone for 2 months. When I pointed this out to Joe, he said he knew, but just couldn't believe it. Time has been flying for him. The same could be said for me. It seems like I was writing about one month down just yesterday. I miss him more and less as I settle in to my new (very temporary) life without him. The routine has been set. I think about his absence less now. Which makes me sad. I don't come home and have to think about him not being here. It's just a fact now. But the internet has been far less shady so we can talk a lot. I know I'm a very lucky girl. Joe has a safe boring job, even in Iraq. I have to remind myself that he is still in a war zone and that unfortunate mortar could come at any time. I need to stay realistic, as scary as it is. Denial worked for a good while, but I think I'm far over that stage. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not sad at weird sporadic moments. Have I reached acceptance? Maybe. One can hope, right? There isn't any sense of urgency anymore. Not like the weeks leading up to his deployment. I'm just in this weird lull, all my days bleed into one another. And I look up to see the weeks passing by. There is no "hurry up and wait" like with most Army things. There's no use in hurrying. Just waiting.

Joe got his combat patch this week! I am so proud of him. He's wanted that stinking patch for a good number of years now. I'm glad he's finally accomplished that goal.

I should start my job this week. So excited to have something to do. And a paycheck! As far as deployments go, the money we save will at least be a very good thing. I had to get my CAC card last week. I sat in a soldier lined hallway in the SRP. I've never felt so out of place in my entire life. Now, I'm a very tall blond girl, I've been in many situations where I felt like I didn't fit, but nothing like this. It was very surreal. Everywhere you look, digital camo. And I started to imagine what these guys feel like, all dressed alike. I can honestly say, I have no idea. I try my hardest not to generalize, my husband is an individual, not just another NCO in the Army. But it has to be very strange to go to work and look just like everyone else. I have never had any similar experience I can draw on.

I was talking to my mom about missing Joe. I told her that a good friend expressed to me that she misses her husband the most right before bed. My mom said that that's when she would miss her husband the most too. I find that I think about Joe being gone the most at about 1630 to 1730, when he would be coming home, we would be fixing dinner, and talking about our days. Joe is sometimes online at this time, so it helps a bit. So my question to you, when do you miss your husband the most? When do your children miss their dad the most?

12 comments:

Amy said...

I miss my husband the most after the kids go to bed. That is normally our time to unwind and actually talk to one another.

As for the kids, I don't think I've been able to develop any real pattern as to when they miss him the most - which is maybe a good thing.

Rachel said...

I'm so happy to hear how well you are doing! I think I am as well, but I guess we all envision the most traumatic and dramatic scenarios so it was a relief when it wasn't as unbearable as I had imagined. Going to bed is also not as bad as I envisioned. I miss Patrick the most also at diner time, but also when I go grocery shopping, and have to go on post for something, but doing things by myself before this deployment was so foreign to me, but I've gotten so much better, although..I still can't go out to eat by myself.

The LT's Wifey said...

I miss him the most when I first wake up. I usually dream about him a lot when he is away, waking up and realizing it was a just dream and that he isn't really next to me is heartbreaking. It takes me a few minutes to motivate myself to get up and get through another day without him. At the end of the day I usually feel slightly better, especially if I have talked with him-I have a little sense of relief we are one day closer to being together again. But mornings-oh goodness-I hate the mornings.

Renee said...

I miss my husband the most of Friday afternoon before leaving work. We had a Friday night ritual with our best friends and then our weekend together. Now when I leave work I realize that I have nothing to look forward to. It's the longest and saddest drive home. We are 38 days into the deployment.

Thank you for sharing your blog!

Michelle Kwasny said...

yay 2 months down!!

*Jenn* said...

Wow! It does seem like yesterday when you posted your month post. I miss G the most when I first wake up in the morning...

Expat Girl said...

I miss my husband the most for that hour or so before bed when its dark outside and we would normally be lying on the sofa together watching TV...those hours dragggg by now!

Lindsey said...

I'm so happy for you that your time is going quickly. I hope it goes by quickly for me as well.

I can't really say when I miss DH the most. Typically, it's when the kids are wild and out of countrol. When I get stressed is when I miss him most.

For the kids, they usually miss him most when we are in stores that he used to take them too, like Home Depot of the RC car store.

Sarah said...

Our deployment hasn't started yet, but usually I miss him the most at night when we would have been laying on the couch, just hanging out and watching tv. I'm so glad you feel like the last 2 months have flown by. It gives me hope!!

wifeofasailor.com said...

Yay for two months done! And I miss my husband the most at night watching TV and going to bed and not having anyone to cuddle with.

Field of Dreams said...

Congrats on 2 months down!!!

I miss my husband the most at night before going to bed, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company and also on the weekends. We always made plans to do something fun!!!

Nat '` ) said...

I also just hit month two on the 18th of May. I'm still in that grumpy stage. I'm new to all this so I imagine it will take time. Congrats on your new job. I too am looking for work to keep myself extra busy and the extra money would be helpful too. I wish you Good Luck on your new job. Cheers!!!