MONTH TWO!!

Day 62
Yep, as of today, Joe has been gone for 2 months. When I pointed this out to Joe, he said he knew, but just couldn't believe it. Time has been flying for him. The same could be said for me. It seems like I was writing about one month down just yesterday. I miss him more and less as I settle in to my new (very temporary) life without him. The routine has been set. I think about his absence less now. Which makes me sad. I don't come home and have to think about him not being here. It's just a fact now. But the internet has been far less shady so we can talk a lot. I know I'm a very lucky girl. Joe has a safe boring job, even in Iraq. I have to remind myself that he is still in a war zone and that unfortunate mortar could come at any time. I need to stay realistic, as scary as it is. Denial worked for a good while, but I think I'm far over that stage. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not sad at weird sporadic moments. Have I reached acceptance? Maybe. One can hope, right? There isn't any sense of urgency anymore. Not like the weeks leading up to his deployment. I'm just in this weird lull, all my days bleed into one another. And I look up to see the weeks passing by. There is no "hurry up and wait" like with most Army things. There's no use in hurrying. Just waiting.

Joe got his combat patch this week! I am so proud of him. He's wanted that stinking patch for a good number of years now. I'm glad he's finally accomplished that goal.

I should start my job this week. So excited to have something to do. And a paycheck! As far as deployments go, the money we save will at least be a very good thing. I had to get my CAC card last week. I sat in a soldier lined hallway in the SRP. I've never felt so out of place in my entire life. Now, I'm a very tall blond girl, I've been in many situations where I felt like I didn't fit, but nothing like this. It was very surreal. Everywhere you look, digital camo. And I started to imagine what these guys feel like, all dressed alike. I can honestly say, I have no idea. I try my hardest not to generalize, my husband is an individual, not just another NCO in the Army. But it has to be very strange to go to work and look just like everyone else. I have never had any similar experience I can draw on.

I was talking to my mom about missing Joe. I told her that a good friend expressed to me that she misses her husband the most right before bed. My mom said that that's when she would miss her husband the most too. I find that I think about Joe being gone the most at about 1630 to 1730, when he would be coming home, we would be fixing dinner, and talking about our days. Joe is sometimes online at this time, so it helps a bit. So my question to you, when do you miss your husband the most? When do your children miss their dad the most?