Bittersweet Easter

I woke up Sunday morning and started going through my phone. The first picture on my facebook feed was a good friend at the airport... saying goodbye to his family... and heading back to the sand box (No specifics, we need to make sure he's safe first).

I promptly rolled over and hugged Joe. We started talking about our friend and his family. And it dawned on both of us, neither of us remember last Easter. We're not religious, so for us it's basically just a day to eat a lot of chocolate and spend time with family. Well, my family was either in Iraq or in Arkansas. I don't have the foggiest idea what I did last Easter. Joe had only been gone a month. I don't remember much in that first month.

I spent yesterday studying and working on school stuff and spending time with Joe. And thinking about our friends. I wouldn't wish his deployment on my worst enemy. And we hope with every fiber in our beings that he comes home safe.

Disposable Friends

Joe and I were having a conversation the other day about my friends vs. his friends and it got me thinking. Initially, I was kinda annoyed and had thoughs like- "Joe thinks his friends are better than mine, we always hang out with his and NEVER with mine." It's true, we NEVER do anything with any of my friends. We never go out to dinner with them. We never go to Denver with them. We never have them over to the house.

In Kansas, this was related to rank. My best friend was married to an officer. And Joe had a problem with this. So we never did anything with them. Dont even get me started on rank and Joe's opinion on things. I've discussed it before. I think it's stupid, but Joe has to play by the rules, so I will try to understand.

And the more I thought about it, I realized I do have disposable friends. Most come and go in my life, not really best friends, just around while our lives seem to touch, then are off doing other things. This doesnt really bother me. I only have about 3 really true friends in my life. Friends that you dont talk to for 3 months, then pick up the phone and start the conversation where you left off ---an Army wife from Kansas - who is hands down the sweetest most thoughtful person I've ever met, one life long childhood friend who shares my name, and a very good friend from college who is also an Army wife and also shares my name (strange but true, I have two awesome friends with the name Sara(h))

But now.... I have really awesome friends. I have friends that stuck by me when Joe was deployed. That let me cry on their shoulder and picked me up for dinner to get me out of the house. And I want to include them in my life. So now that Joe is home, I have to figure out how to balance these friends and Joe.

So when Joe wants to go out with his friends, I'm invited of course and I go sometimes. So when I go out with my friends, Joe is also invited, but rarely wants to go. Maybe it's a boy thing. But I will be making a great attempt at keeping the great friends I have here in the Springs. I hope that some of the things my friends and I have planned can really come true, like us and the spouses going to a shooting range, or out to dinner, or to the movies. This is my promise to myself, I will be a better friend. :)

Ode to Tammy Munson

If you are a military spouse on Twitter, there is a very good chance you follow Tammy. But I have had the very great pleasure of getting to know her in person. She was the first person I ever met in Colorado Springs, with Starbucks in hand.

I don't know what I would have done without her over this last year. Her friendship exceeded any friendship I have ever known. Tammy is the most responsible thoughtful compassionate genuine unselfish woman that I've had the pleasure of meeting. How many friends would come get you at 2am and take you to the ER? And again later that day. Only to stay by your side through surgery and recovery the next day? And comfort you when you hit that deployment wall? And listen patiently while you vent about this world. She understood what I was going though better than most people, more so than my own mother. I aspire to be a friend for someone the way Tammy was a friend to me.

She was my rock here at Ft Carson. I don't know why I was so lucky to meet her, but it was a true blessing. And now her family is moving on to another great adventure. And I will miss her more than words can express. You better watch out Iowa, Tammy Munson is on her way.

WEEK 30!!

Day 211

Even Joe has said that the time is flying by for him. Week 30, wow. It honestly seems like I dropped him off on post only a month ago. It's so nice to hear Joe doing so much better. The new rooms and better food has gone a long way. Although, we got a company-wide email about toilet seats. Joe was complaining about them long before the email was sent out. Apparently none of the bathrooms have seats. And most dont have doors.

I went to my orientation at the University of the Rockies last Friday. And my first class was last night. I am so excited about school. I feel like such a nerd. I think back to grade school and even high school. I wasnt one of those kids that dreaded the end of summer. I had all of my notebooks and folders color coded as soon as the grade supply lists hit our local Wal-Mart. Anyway, I have an assignment that I've been mulling over in my head since last night. I wont bore you with the details. But I'm gonna read up on the subject and then write like crazy!

Honestly, it's so nice to have something to think about besides this deployment.

Work is NUTS!! Like we all expected, a new contractor took over and all hell broke loose. A LOT of people were laid off. At last count, I was told, only 9 of 24 people were given an offer letter. Thankfully, I was one of those people. I count myself very lucky, as I was only hired 5 months ago. I need the money, even the little money we will be paid. Just as a quick reference, we are making 36% of our initial pay. Our hours were cut by half and we got roughly a $5 pay cut. It sucks!! But the silver lining? I will have plenty of time to study and go to school. And next term I can sign up for 2 classes knowing I will have plenty of time. But yeah, I'll have to take out a loan now. I was planning on paying for at least one of those 2 classes with cash. But alas. It'll all work out. It always does.

Fall has officially come to Colorado Springs. It's fairly chilly most days. Overcast. Sometimes windy. It's so funny when I happen to talk to my family back home. It's still low 90s in the South.

Also, my father turned 50 this weekend!! And my sister in law had a birthday on Tuesday.

All this just leads up to Winter in my head. And I can safely say, Joe will be back this Winter!! As soon as the first snow falls, I will be a happy Sara!

Why dont they get it??

I LOVE my civilian friends from back home. I know they will always have my back and help keep me grounded when this silly milspouse life gets absurd. It's nice that they don't understand rank and commands and don't have the first clue what my husband does for a living. And these select few people will be my best friends no matter where the Army takes us or what rank my hubby is.

Now, why cant some civilians understand a simple countdown, or I guess I should say the count up?

With the big bang the virtual world has had in recent times, I have connected with people I haven't talked to since high school. It's fun and amusing at times. I have found some great old friends. But if you haven't talked to me in over a year and you don't know me well enough to know that my husband has been deployed to a WAR ZONE for 6 months, why are you commenting on my statuses?

I posted a comment yesterday that said something along the lines of 26 weeks down!! Halfway!! And I had MANY people message me asking me if I was pregnant. Really folks?

1. Joe has been deployed for 6 months!! If you don't know that by now, you need to PAY MORE ATTENTION!

2. Halfway to a baby is NOT 26 weeks. I am not pregnant. I have never been pregnant. And I know that the gestation period for a human is not a year. So someone who HAS been pregnant should at least know that too, right??

I guess I should give the non-milspouses a break right? They don't have deployment countdowns. They are all my age and they have the big baby countdowns now, right? Baby on the brain 24/7 probably.

But the baby question has been asked for about oh... 26 weeks now. And really folks, the fact that they aren't paying attention and asking silly questions annoys me to no end. I am observant to a fault. As Monk would say, it's a blessing and a curse. My aunt has a story she tells at family gatherings about canned chili with beans and at 12, she told me I had the "gripping senses." I like to stay informed. I like to eavesdrop. I will search a Facebook page to make sure there isn't an answer to my question before I ask that person.

So can you see how this situation bothers me since I have been talking about Joe's deployment for 6 months and his R&R for the last 3 weeks?

Sorry, just had to get that rant off my chest. :)

Week 26

Another week down. Sadly, this was a week of R&R, and it went by too fast. Joe's leave is quickly coming to an end.

But we have had a blast!!! We had two fun filled weeks! And the last few days have been very chill, just hanging out at the house and sending care packages. We have seen some movies and we plan on going to the local zoo again. Joe loves the zoo! It's even comforting to get annoyed with the boy when he doesn't pick up his dirty clothes out of his bathroom. Yeah, remind me I said that when he gets back in 6 months.

I'm sorry my virtual life has been to boring lately. My blog, Facebook, and Twitter have been kinda quiet lately. Yeah, Joe is home. And I knew I wouldn't be on as much. But even when I am online, it's not very exciting. But hanging out in the background has been kinda fun. I catch up on my online life some. And it's so much fun to catch people in lies when I know the truth. Maybe they don't think I'll be online to read this stuff, and of course I don't comment. But it's amusing that some people are so different online than they are in person. I try to be me. What you see (read) is what you get. I'm not going to put out this stupid facade so people online will like me. I don't care how many followers I have or how many people read my blog. I don't do it for you. I do it for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my online family, the friends I have made, and the AWESOME #milspouses I know because of Twitter. And I truly appreciate the support during this deployment and the kind words on my blog.

But genuine people are hard to find, IRL or online.

Week 21

DAY 148

Joe's R&R is so close I can't contain myself. The closer it gets, the harder it is to breathe. We talk about our plans and I feel like I have to stand up and pace because I am just so excited! We're gonna have a BLAST. We have so much planned!

The last week has been pretty exciting too. Patty, aka @mommytaco, came to Colorado Springs to (Scentsy) party with us. It was so much fun. And our party was a great success.

And I went to a luncheon at the University of the Rockies on Tuesday. We're seriously considering me going back to school to get my MA in Psychology. The luncheon was an hour and a half long, 3 hours later I walked out with the admissions application thinking about how I could find the money to go back to school. I miss psychology so much. I loved my undergrad degree. I would love to be in the mix again, studying new theories, making up my own, having someone listen to my opinion because it's AWESOME! LOL, I was very good at psychology as an undergrad. I truly found my passion. And then I could actually get a job using my degree, helping people, honoring my talent, making a difference.

And Joe could leave the Army. He's been seriously talking about that too. But one of us has to be the bread winner. I guess it's my turn. I don't mind. I would be doing something I love. I HATE that he hates his job and we cant do anything about it. I doubt he's a Soldier at heart. He's proud of his path. I'm proud of his choices. But I never thought he was a lifer. He proposed to me, as a lifer, saying that this would be our life for 15+ years. But I never thought he would be in that long. He's been in 5 years so far. And I really think he's done. His contract doesn't end for almost 3 more years. Gives me plenty of time to get a good degree and a viable job.

All in all, I'm doing great. 21 weeks down. It's so hard to believe it's been so long since I've seen Joe. I'm so sad that I have gotten so used to being alone. It's a hard thought to swallow. I don't think about him being gone anymore. I don't think about coming home to an empty house. It's just a fact now. And I'm so afraid that I will have to start all over when his R&R is over. But I have done this for this long, and we'll be fairly close to half way done when he goes back. So I only have to do this again, right? At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

Week 2

Not much has happened in the last week. Joe was training for half of it and couldnt call. But he was able to get online for a few minutes last night and called again this morning. Rigel got a hair cut. He looks very handsome. And I reached 70 followers on my blog!! Hello out there!!

I met a new friend. I know some people think Twitter is just stupid. But I have met so many awesome people through that site. I have physically met two friends in the last 4 months. There used to be this sigma about meeting people online. Everyone in chat rooms HAD TO BE stalkers or murderers. Oddly enough, I met my prom date online 10 years ago. He was a very nice young man and became a good friend in college.

And I'm meeting more new people today! A Facebook group of Ft. Carson Army wives decided that we should all meet. We're going to a park on post since it's so nice outside. Some wives are bringing their young children. Of course, I'm bringing Rigel. My friend Ashley is coming along with her two chihuahuas.

Week 2 has been interesting on an emotional level. I find myself being angry again. Angry that we've only been doing this for 2 weeks, yet it feels much longer. Angry that I can only talk to Joe for 10 minutes every other day. Angry that mail is so slow. Angry that we STILL dont have an APO address!! Ugh!!

But in a strange way, my days are marked with very overwheling swells of pride. Pride for my husband. Pride for myself. Pride for the other wives dealing with the same thing. Pride..... that I am part of something bigger than myself. It's a very foreign thought each time it sweeps over me. I'm not that girl that is boastful about Joe's Army career. He's a soldier... yeah, okay, fine. But lately, it's been much bigger than that. My husband is a Soldier in the United States Army. He is most definitely part of something much bigger than himself. There is a very cynical liberal yelling from inside me everyday. But there is a part of that thought that gets trampled by the pride I feel for him. The pride that I feel when I realize just exactly what he signed up for; the strength these men need to walk away from their families; the bravery they need to complete the task at hand; the sense of purpose they need to do it every day.

I've always been proud of Joe for the man he's chosen to be. But I'm ashamed that it's taken me two weeks of a deployment to understand the commitment he has to the Army.

Beautiful bracelet

Amongst all of the junk mail and bills today I got a wonderful surprise from a very good friend. Bethany from A Southern Belle & Her Officer sent me a Deployment Bracelet from http://www.beadworkbysheree.com/.

I cant say it enough, THANK YOU SO MUCH Bethany!!

Wife vs. Army Wife?

I have read some stuff lately that has really bothered me. And since I have all this time on my hands, I've had time to think about it. I struggle with the label "army wife" on a personal level anyway. But when these young army wives and girlfriends use the term to define themselves, it really makes me wonder about them as individual people. I know many people just use the term as what it simply means, you are married to an army soldier. It doesn't define you. Its not a special club. Its not a cookie cutter mold of who you're supposed to be. And when said to another "army wife" it says it all.

My problem with the term is not only the generalizations that can be made, but the fact that many young women want to use it as a special buzz word, like a secret hand shake for some club. I read something the other day... "I am many things... But most importantly, I am the Girlfriend of a United States Soldier." Well, let me tell you something my friends, I am many things, but "army wife" isn't at the top of my list.

I'm an individual.
I'm a strong independent women.
I'm a wife.
I'm a daughter.
I'm a sister.
I'm a niece.
I'm an aunt.
I'm a friend.
I'm a scholar.
I'm an employee.
I'm a co-worker
I'm Rigel's *person*.

The "I'm an army wife" hat doesn't come on until all of those other commitments are taken care of. I love my husband. It honestly doesn't matter to me if he's a soldier or a teacher or a ph.d physicist. I would love him no matter what. I knew Joe long before he ever touched an Army uniform. I'm incredibly proud of the path he's chosen, but his life doesn't define mine. His job may direct our lives, but it doesn't make me who I am. Honestly, his job doesn't even make him who he is. It might dictate his haircut, but not the kind of person he is inside.

I worry about these young women that fight so hard to be "army wives." I never even thought about the term when I was getting married. I wasn't a "future army wife." I was the future Mrs. Sutliff.

So what happens when being an "army girlfriend" doesn't work out? What happens when you get a divorce? I've seen far too many people still saying they are a "former army wife." I honestly just don't get it. Is it the drama? Is it the romance that most think our lives consist of? And of course I've seen far to many young girls chase those ACUs. That confuses me the most. So you're dating him just because he's a soldier? Just because he wears a uniform? Let me tell you, I know LOTS of soldiers. And many of them are just scumbags and losers!! Just because he is sporting the uniform and the haircut doesn't make him a stand-up guy. But that's a whole different blog. My point is, be with the guy because you love him and he loves you, not because you want to get on Twitter and label yourself as an Army wife or girlfriend.

Yes, when in conversation, the term speaks volumes. I can say to another army wife or to an army wife in a generation or two ahead of me (someone like my grandmother), yes, I'm an army wife. And they can imagine the PCS moves and the deployment worries and the shitty FRGs and the lonely nights and even the perks of military life and the amazing friendships we make. But they still know nothing about ME.

And so I struggle with labeling myself that. Even struggled naming my blog that. But I have two blogs. Did you know that? I have another blog just for ME and my non-army wife life. Because I need somewhere to forget about all the stupid Army jargon that's been thrown at me for the last 4 years. I need a place where I can be a daughter and a sister and a dog lover without the weird overtones and connotations of being labeled an Army wife.

I really dont mean to offend anyone. It's just an observation that I've made over the last few months. I want these young women to take value in their lives outside of their husband's career and haircut.

5 Days

I have 5 days of work left! This is a freaking fabulous thing! Don't get me wrong, I will miss my friends a bunch, but the rest of the nuts there, well, best to leave them in Kansas.

Did y'all know I'm a para at an elementary school? We aren't teachers, but we sure do make a difference! I've had many teachers tell me that paras set the tone for a school and truly help the teachers. And when we're used to the best of our ability, and they don't hire stupid people or are working under a retarded administration, we can run a school!

My job was amazing last year. My heart was in it. I felt like I was making a difference in someone's life. The teachers were lovely and my bosses were in it to win it. This year is just not the same. New boss. New teachers. New paras. It's just different. And my heart isn't in it. I have a little girl that I will miss so much! I worry that she will wonder where I've gone and her progress will suffer. But I'm also sad that she will eventually stop asking for me. I will wonder about this little girl for years. But I'll never see her again. She will soon forget about Mrs. Sutliff. But I will think about her when she's in middle school and high school.

Is this what Army wife life is like? We make pit stops every few years, try to touch a heart or make a difference in someone's life, and then pick up and leave?

My fellow Army wife friends talk to me about emailing and calling, visiting and vacationing, while the "civilians" are just mad at me. Literally! "Why do you have to leave? Cant you just stay here?" This is what we do. We are Army wives. We are nomads.

Should I stay or should I go?

Joe and I are PCSing to Ft. Carson, CO this December. The chances of him deploying are pretty good. Everyone keeps asking me, are you moving home?

Ugh.. I just don't know. I've never been to Colorado Springs. I might absolutely love it and want to stay there forever. I might hate it and relish the idea of getting out of there. I don't know.

But besides all of that, I have the ability to go home if I want to. I can live in my old college town; work, go to school, be around family and friends. It would be nice.

But if I love the Springs, I might want to stay there. I lived alone in college. It doesn't really bother me.

There is only one nagging thought in the back of my mind. What if something happens to Joe? I would much rather be at home surrounded my family and friends. But it's so much more than just being comforted. If I was living in the Springs, I would have to pick my life up and move. In the middle of all the turmoil and sorrow, I would have to pack up my whole life with my husband and move it some where else. I would have to change everything around me. If I was already home, I would have a life here, a plan here. I would by able to pick up the pieces and go on much easier. Physically, not much would change.

And here comes the psychological thoughts...
Would I be trying to keep myself in denial? I could just pretend Joe was downrange forever? I would have time to confront the fact that my husband is dead in a familiar comforting place.

Okay, I can hear the sighs already. My last two posts (this one and the one before this) have been about Joe dying downrange. Will I think about it? Of course. We all do. But I need to plan. I need to know what I would do in a certain situation. I'm sure some of you do this too. I need to have the thoughts already sorted out in my head so I know what to do if something like this happens. Do I think Joe will die downrange. Not really. It's a possibility. He's in the Army and he would be downrange. Of course it's a possibility. But I just cant think like that. It would ruin my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not one of these people that try to stay positive all the time. Sometimes positivity isn't the way to go. I try to stay realistic. And being realistic to me means planning out the details.

Thank you Hellcat Betty!

I just wanted to say thank you to Hellcat Betty for the Lovely Blog award. I am very honored that you would think of me!

I started this blog as an outlet and a way to learn more about "being" an Army wife. I never would have imagined that I would write things anyone would want to read. Through blogger and Twitter, I've had the honor to meet so many GREAT Army wives, girlfriends, brats, and supporters. You all have given me some great guidance and have been there for me when others (i.e. civilians) just don't understand. Thank you all. And again, thank you Hellcat Betty!!

Where am I supposed to buy my 6 boxes of Tagalongs?

I cant help but think about the move. I've gotten over the shock of it all and have moved on to excitement. Joe really wanted to get out of this unit anyway. And there's a chance of deployment, which Joe wanted too. And from what everyone is telling me, Colorado Springs is incredibly nice and I will love it there. So excitement all around.

But going through my day, there is this constant sadness behind all my thoughts. It's not a heavy sadness, just a small after thought. And it's mostly silly stuff. I just figured out my way around post. And now I have to learn my way around a new one. I just found a GREAT hairdresser, and now I have to find a new one. And making small memories. Like this is what Kansas looks like in November. And remembering my first time in the Commissary and how nervous I was (too much structure for a grocery store and SO many people in uniforms! what can I say, total newbie!).

I love my friends at work. Some are like sisters to me. I can come to them with anything and I know they will be there for me. And I am leaving them here. I have never had friends like this before. It makes me consider the importance of friends. But also not going out of my way to make friends anymore. Many people have said that Army wives bond very quickly because we need that personal connection. But how can we lose these GREAT friends every two years? How can one live like that? But like I've been saying to people for the last two days, this is what we Army wives do. We follow our husbands. We pick up and move in a month's notice. And in a year, I know I will have new friends with a new job in a different place. And all of these thoughts will fade. And I will make a life for myself somewhere else.

This move feels harder than leaving home for the move up here. I will always go home to visit. I will always have a connection to Paris, AR. I can call up my mother anytime I want. I can see her occasionally (granted, far less when we're in CO). But these friends here, I don't know if I will ever see them again. I have no reason to ever be in Junction City, Kansas ever again. Like Lucy says, I can always come visit. And it's halfway between me and my hometown. So I might have to drive through occasionally. And I will most definitely go see Lucy. But I'm not sure they will ever happen either.

We lay down plans and ideas, and maybe I was naive in my thinking, maybe it's a newbie Army wife thing, but I never stopped to think that I wouldn't be here to see my co-workers lima bean. Or Lucy's husband return home. So do thoughts and attitudes change as a seasoned Army wife? Before you commit to ANYTHING, do you first think about your next PCS move? I cant buy Girl Scout cookies here! I wont be here when they come in. A week ago, I would have ordered 6 boxes of Tagalongs and never had a second thought about where I would be in February.

Just a few thoughts...

For Lucy

The blog that follows was written weeks ago and saved to a draft. I don't know why I didn't post it. It didn't feel right. I didn't feel like I could expose that much of myself or Lucy on a public forum like this. It was too much. Too fast. Too soon. But I have come to realize that Lucy is far stronger than I have given her credit for. Sadly, I know far too many people with loved ones deployed right now. And Lucy is holding her own. She's making her new life work and not letting some dumb deployment change her. She might have a few tears in her eyes, but she's still Lucy. She didn't move from her house. And she's never lived alone before. She didn't quit her job to wait around at home. So as brave and courageous as her husband is for risking it all for a pay check, she is just as brave and courageous to live a life for a year without this man that she's risked it all for. She doesn't complain. She doesn't live her life with a cell phone glued to her hip (even though I do that now and Joe's 13 minutes away from me most days). When Joe was in Germany, I took a shower with my phone in a plastic baggy so I wouldn't miss a call or text. I was young. And not realistic at all. Lucy is. Lucy knows that 'Ricky' loves her more than anything on this Earth and will do his best to call her when he can. And if he doesn't, he's just busy. She doesn't jump to wild conclusions like a lot of the people I know. She might think them in her head. But she doesn't act frantic about it. If she did, we would all jump up to comfort her. So maybe she just doesn't want 9 paras hugging and bothering her constantly.

Lucy said something to me in passing the other day. "I was supposed to live upstairs with you and Rigel." And that feeling of guilt that I've been trying to hide came rushing back. She was. She was supposed to live with us. And I wish I could do more. I'm not a very good friend. I don't know the right thing to say or do. Especially in this situation. I'm here. And if I ever thought Lucy really needed someone, I would be there. But as far as I can tell, she's handling this better than all of the others.


So here it is, For Lucy.

I have a friend I've been thinking about a lot lately. We'll call her Lucy (an alias I think is fairly fitting). Her husband is deploying soon... this month... in a matter of days. I watch this stuff on TV and I think about her. I look at my husband and I think about her. I hear footsteps upstairs and I think about her. I watch my husband sleep and I think about her.

I think it's guilt. I know it's guilt.

My husband was supposed to deploy this July as well. But his deployment was canceled right after it was issued. But Lucy's husband's wasn't. And it's not fair. We were going to live together and support one another.

I feel this relief when I think about Joe's canceled deployment and the situation I could be in right now. I could be counting down the days, the hours, the kisses, the hugs, the dinners at home, the footsteps upstairs...

But I feel so guilty that I'm not in that situation with Lucy. It's a bittersweet feeling. Joe wanted to be deployed. He feels like he's ready and wants to take that risk. And yet he's here when there are men deploying with families that need them here at home, that don't really want to deploy right now.

So here it is Lucy. If you ever need ANYTHING, I'll be there for you. I'm a great cryer. And Rigel loves the warm salty tears. I cry laying in the floor. He licks all of the tears off my face with his hot little dog tongue. I think it helps.

And I think you need to start a blog. You have far more to say than I ever will. Even the bird of useless knowledge has a blog. :^)

Have a good day Lucy.

Army Wives (The Show)

So I know we all tuned in last night because Denise and Frank were getting a divorce. So sad. But honestly, it's just about the most realistic thing I've seen on this tv show. And then the ladies get together and do the whole "We're not going to let you leave" thing, like they really have a choice. So I've been married to my husband for two years this month (July 13th baby!!) and lived with him at a duty station (off psot though) for a year and a half. And in that time, I have lost 3 REALLY good friends. LOL, okay, maybe lost is a bad word. They have moved on as people in the military often do.

One friend was my neighbor. She was truely my best friend up here when I needed someone to hang on to. We came together in a time of crisis in Kansas (it's called a TORNADO!! LOL!) and became fast friends. She moved away because her hubby deployed and she was pregnant and needed to be near family. I completely understand why she needed to move home, but I still really miss her. There is a void in the neighborhood since she and her hubby have left.

Another friend became a statistic... she and her soldier hubby got a divorce after getting married because she got pregnant. They werent together for too long, only about 3 years. She got a divorce and moved home. It was bittersweet because she REALLY needed to get herself and her baby out of that situation (!!!) but I'd known her for just about forever. We even went to high school together and just kinda ended up at the same duty station (what are the odds?). I miss her dearly.

And my other friend and avid yorkie lover PCSed with her hubby. Nothing surprising there. It happens. It's really sad though. Rigel and I already miss our "puppy dates" with her and Gizmo and Brody. We met at work/school. She moved at the end of the school year and next year isnt going to be the same without her. She was really nice and personable and reached out to the new girl... me.

And we were all getting ready for a REALLY good friend to move home when her husband deployed. We all understood and would have supported any decision she made. But due to logistics, she kinda has to stay here. And I'm super excited!! (Sorry Lucy, I am!!) I know how lucky I am to be keeping such a GREAT friend in this life was have all signed up for. We all have make commitments to her to support her though the deployment (her first, her husband's first too). But that's what friends are for. And we will do whatever she needs us to do. I can promise you that.

So yeah, back to my point, even though we will miss Denise's character (and I'm still hoping that Frank realizes he loves and wants her to stay despite her stupid mistakes, but that's a different blog) this is what really happens in the Army. And I sometimes wonder just how long they can keep the same characters in the show due to this fact. Roxy especially. Trevor is a SPC that will PCS in a few years. But I guess Michael Holden can keep him there. All they have to say is that his company is fenced in and it will solve all the PCSing problems. But what about Chase Moran? How often do Special Forces PCS? I have no idea really.

Isnt it lovely how I talk about these people like they're real?!? LOL! I just love this show! I really do. It's cute and usually really funny. But not all that realistic. But the moving thing... I've kinda been waiting to see how they deal with PCSs and changing the cast of characters.

**Names have been changed for your protection.. and because I like giving people aliases!! So I'd like to give a shout out to "Lucy"!! We love ya and are REALLY glad you arent going home! If you EVER need ANYTHING, you know you can call us.**