September 11, 2001

I was 17 years old, a Freshman in college, literally the first time I had lived away from home in my entire life. It was a Tuesday. I didn't have class that morning. I was at my computer, playing Snood and listening to music. My mom called me on her way to work. She said that she was listening to the radio and something was happening in New York City. I switched the TV to a news channel just as a plane hit the second tower.

"Mom, what's happening?"

My roommate had class that morning. This was before the constant social media we have now. She walked into the room and glanced at the TV. "What on Earth are you watching?"

After reading the other blog posts and comments on Facebook and Twitter, I consider myself fortunate. I didn't know anyone in New York City at that point. But also, I was old enough to remember a time before this tragedy struck our nation. I had a childhood free from terrorism. There is a generation who doesn't have this luxury; they have lived their entire lives with the fear that has been instilled in our nation ever since that horrible day.

I'm now 27 years old. Married to a man who is a SGT in the U.S. Army, who has been deployed to a country for a war that this attack started. All of our lives have been forever shaped by that day, now matter where you were in 2001.

Job Hunting

All of my Twitter friends know, but I just have to share that I have a new job lined up. It's a GS position on post. I still have LOTS of paperwork and a few background checks to go through, but I'm pretty confident that it will all check out.

But I also wanted to share something I learned about job hunting on military installations. If you are looking for a job with no success, seek out your civilian personnel office on post and sign up for the PRIORITY PLACEMENT PROGRAM (PPP). You are eligable for PPP within two years of your husband's PCS orders. For example, Joe's PCS orders from Ft. Riley were CUT November 2009 (even though we didnt actually move until January 2010) so I have until November 2011 to be in the PPP. There are other requirements that the job specialist will go over with you if they apply to you. But basically, you need a copy of your sponser's orders, a copy of your marriage license, transcripts, and a resume in order to apply for this program. They look over all of your stuff and assign you a "grade". I'm sure most of you know about the GS grade system, GS1, GS2, GS3, etc. Anyway, they assign you a grade that meets all of the education and experience you have. And then an area of interest. Since I have a BA in psychology and experience in the education system, those are the two areas they are looking for me a job in.

I cant believe in the 4 years I've been married to Joe, I've never heard about this program! I told Joe about it and you know what he said?? He knew about it, but thought I was already in the program. Silly boy.

I dont want anyone out there looking for a job to let this program pass them by. If you are still within 2 years of your husband's PCS orders, I urge you to go sign up. With the job market looking like it does, it's awesome to know someone else is actively looking for a job for me too.

Marital Status: Married yet alone.

I'm sitting in my house trying to decide it I want to go see a movie alone. I'm married. I've been married for 4 years. And I'm still alone. This military training junk sucks. Even when they are "home" (read: not deployed) they arent really home.

So do I go alone? I really want to see The Help. Really really really badly. I have about 20 minutes to decide it I'm going to go or not. I really hope I have the strength to go alone. So I'm going to post this so at least my silly blog can hold me accountable for being a strong independent woman.

Hey, wasnt that a deployment goal...?

Before & After

I guess I will never really know just how much a deployment changes things.

Before Joe's deployment, a separation was just a separation. 30 days in the field. 3 months in Fort Leonard Wood. Hell, the 6 months we were apart after we got married and Joe had to go back to Germany. Just time apart. It sucked, but it was easy.

And now, after a year long deployment, time apart isn't easy. At least not for me. Joe has to go to ALC in Fort Leonard Wood for two months. Watching him pack brings back horrible memories. Saying good bye brought me right back to March 2010.

I'm giving myself good pep talks - 60 days is NOTHING! Really, after 365, it's a walk in the park. And here I am feeling so bad for myself when some of you are in the deployment for the long haul. I was always one of those people that would roll my eyes at the wife that couldn't be apart from her husband for 2 weeks. How could they be so dependent on one another? How could you not sleep when he's gone? At least this has hit me now, and not during the deployment.

The deployment definitely shown us just how much we need each other though. I'm going to take this as a good thing and run with it. Maybe it's not such a bad thing I love my husband so much I want to be around him all the time, right?

But for now, I'm going to dig out my "living alone" perk list and eat spaghetti every night and not have to watch Swamp People marathons.

And for those of you reading this who are rolling your eyes at me, wishing your husbands could be only 850 miles away with a cell phone, I truly to apologize. My heart goes out to you. It's not easy. What we do isn't normal. I hope your husbands come home soon, safe.

Dwell Time

"Sometimes it feels like I just got back."

That's the sentence that started this blog. Joe has to go on a two month training soon. Neither of us want him to go of course. After last year, I know everything will be fine. I just dont want to miss him anymore. It's so tiring.

But this training has gotten me thinking about how people spend their dwell time. Many people I know have a deployment schedule that is one year gone, one year home. Over and over again. But when your year home isnt spent wholy at home; training, ranges, fields, JRTC, etc the dwell times just arent fair to the Soldiers or the families. Everyong knows this was Joe's first (and hopefully last) deployment. I've never had to think about a dwell time before. But this could royally suck for most people and their families.

Joe is 5 months through his dwell time. And it still feels like he just got home. We're just now settling back into our "normal," and now he's about to leave again! If Joe had another deployment looming, this two months apart would kill me. When you only have 12 months together with your family, being ripped apart for 2 months just sucks.

I'm so over this life. I'm so done with the Army.

565 days.....

Here one day. Gone the next.

I'm writing this post the day two of my neighbors left for the sandbox. I'm going to wait a few days to post it though just so I can follow OPSEC.

I spend a good portion of last night thinking about the night before Joe left. Holding his hand, his arm. Watching him pack. Getting one more hug. Watching him sleep in our bed one last night. All of these feelings are coming back with two of our friends leaving today. Joe and I went to a baseball game today, a Military Appriciation game where Joe got in free. We're cheering on our team and eating dippin dots. And all the while, in the back of my mind, I keep thinking that today is the "D-day" for many people we know and care about. I look around me. Everyone is happy and cheering. Little do they know there are family members only an hour away saying good bye to their loved ones and sending them to Afghanistan for a year.

We have civilian neighbors from New Orleans who have never lived this close to an Army town. They obviously don't live with a Soldier, hearing about the training and having the looming D-day countdown. They perceive the absence in a much more spontanious way, here one day, gone the next. They have told me numerious times they dont know what to say to the friends leaving. What do you say to the pregnant spouse who drives home after dropping her Soldier husband off on post? I have told them there arent words. There isn't an easy script for these moments. A hug can help. And of course opening that relish jar when they cant ask their husband to do it (my neighbor Paul opened lots of jars for me while Joe was gone, damn that relish jar!!). Even having gone through it all once myself, I can't find the words to say. A sympathetic smile and a knowing look is all I have. And a nod from the pregnant spouse says it all. There arent words.

I woke up on this Memorial Day weekend with a funfilled day planned with my husband. I am one of the lucky ones -- my husband deployed and came back okay. I rolled over and hugged Joe knowing that this wouldn't be the last time for a year that I would be able to do that. I had to hold back tears. This Army life is so hard sometimes. You hope for the best, for everyone. And you relish the happy moments you get with your spouse, knowing they are fleeting and he could be here one day and gone the next.

9 years, 7 months, and 20 days

September 11, 2001
I was in my 2nd month of my freshman year of college. I was a young sheltered 17 year old who had no thoughts about the military or war. I was sitting at my computer playing Snood with VH1 on the tv (when VH1 played actual music). My mom called me on my Nokia brick. She was in her car on the way to work. Something was going on and she wanted me to find out what. I turned the channel just in time to see the plane hit the second tower. I dropped my phone. The huge battery popped off and slid underneath my roommate's bed. By the time I composed myself and found the battery, my mother had called me 8 times. "Mom, a plane hit a building. A second plane hit a second building. What's going on?" My roommate came home from class. Asked me what on Earth I was watching, Independence Day? If you remember back in 2001, we didn't all have smart phones and constant media 24/7. We called everyone that mattered. We had professors in New York City that canceled classes until they could get home. Life as we knew it had changed.



May 1, 2011
After a delicious dinner my husband made, I was sitting on the couch next to Joe and Rigel when someone on Twitter said that the president would be making a speech. After some speculation and some joking (Joe hoped it was alien contact) we found out that Osama bin Laden was dead. I am 27 years old. A military spouse. An Army wife who stood by her Soldier husband during a 12-month long deployment. My whole world is the Military and war. I was fortunate enough to be able to reach over and grab Joe's arm. We instantly thought about our friends in Afghanistan right now.

9 years, 7 months, 20 days.

This is MilitaryMonday. May is also Military Appreciation Month. Thank a Service Member today.

R&R: Rest & Recharge

Awesome 2 weeks!! Awesome!! I needed to see my Joe. He needed a break. He REALLY needed a break. We managed to have a real vacation. And it was AWESOME! I tried to post pics daily on Facebook for our families.

I asked Joe what R&R stood for. He gave me some random answer and then told me it was really called "Mid-tour leave" so I decided our R&R would be called Rest and Recharge. And it was definitely a recharge for us both, and our relationship. It's kinda weird having a long distance marriage over Skype. Okay, who am I fooling, it's really weird to have a marriage over Skype. And our marriage needed this break.

Joe has the worst luck when traveling. I joke that if we ever go anywhere together I will leave first and then Joe can come rolling in later, after his flights are bumped or canceled, and his laptop is dropped by the drunk taxi driver. So once again, in true Joe fashion, he had a great flight schedule. PLUS he couldn't drink because he was in uniform. I picked him up in 2007 when he was PCSing from Germany to Kansas and I PRAYED that he was drunk most of the time so he wouldn't be pissed at the end of the day. And luckily, he was. But alas, Soldiers cant drink while they are on duty. And it was made perfectly clear that they were still on duty until they made it to Colorado Springs. So after being not so happy about the whole "last combat troops in Iraq" nonsense, turns out, they had priority on ALL on Joe's flights and he was bumped for basically a day while he was on his way here. His initial itinerary was just about too good to be true anyway. I should have known better. But I didn't anticipate the exodus of Iraq troops getting in the way.

Joe petting Lily the skunk at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

But as soon as he got here, the party started!! We went to the Colorado State Fair, the local zoo (Joe's fave), a Colorado Rockies baseball game with 2 of his good friends from Germany, the Royal Gorge lunch train (awesome!), and the Royal Gorge Bridge & Park. And we ATE! Joe has lost probably 20lbs in the last 6 months. He doesn't have it to loose! So I fed him well! We ate out a lot, hitting up all of the places Joe has been dreaming about. We have found some new favorites. And we even cooked at home some, and made some amazing dinners together. It was so much fun cooking with Joe again.

Joe and his beer on the Royal Gorge lunch train

It seems like I just picked him up at the airport. I will remember that moment until the day I die. I got up that morning and was excited, but not crazy or anything. I took a shower and actually pondered why I wasn't more excited about Joe's arrival. I put Rigel in his room and got in my car like normal. I pulled on to the main road and completely lost it. Out of nowhere! I didn't see those tears coming at all. My hands started shaking and I admit it, I started speeding a little bit. Parking at the airport was agony! But once I got into the airport I calmed down. I watched these two little boys ask where daddy was. We were in what we thought was the waiting area, chatting away. Her husband was from the same unit as Joe and also coming home on R&R. She suddenly got a phone call from her husband from the phone bank on the first floor. She grabbed her babies and ran to the escalators. So I stood up and started to walk behind her. But then I got this urge to turn around. And there he was. Walking all alone down the hallway. The girliest squeal escaped me as I ran past the 'Do Not Enter' sign and grabbed him. I will never forget how tight he hugged me.

Why dont they get it??

I LOVE my civilian friends from back home. I know they will always have my back and help keep me grounded when this silly milspouse life gets absurd. It's nice that they don't understand rank and commands and don't have the first clue what my husband does for a living. And these select few people will be my best friends no matter where the Army takes us or what rank my hubby is.

Now, why cant some civilians understand a simple countdown, or I guess I should say the count up?

With the big bang the virtual world has had in recent times, I have connected with people I haven't talked to since high school. It's fun and amusing at times. I have found some great old friends. But if you haven't talked to me in over a year and you don't know me well enough to know that my husband has been deployed to a WAR ZONE for 6 months, why are you commenting on my statuses?

I posted a comment yesterday that said something along the lines of 26 weeks down!! Halfway!! And I had MANY people message me asking me if I was pregnant. Really folks?

1. Joe has been deployed for 6 months!! If you don't know that by now, you need to PAY MORE ATTENTION!

2. Halfway to a baby is NOT 26 weeks. I am not pregnant. I have never been pregnant. And I know that the gestation period for a human is not a year. So someone who HAS been pregnant should at least know that too, right??

I guess I should give the non-milspouses a break right? They don't have deployment countdowns. They are all my age and they have the big baby countdowns now, right? Baby on the brain 24/7 probably.

But the baby question has been asked for about oh... 26 weeks now. And really folks, the fact that they aren't paying attention and asking silly questions annoys me to no end. I am observant to a fault. As Monk would say, it's a blessing and a curse. My aunt has a story she tells at family gatherings about canned chili with beans and at 12, she told me I had the "gripping senses." I like to stay informed. I like to eavesdrop. I will search a Facebook page to make sure there isn't an answer to my question before I ask that person.

So can you see how this situation bothers me since I have been talking about Joe's deployment for 6 months and his R&R for the last 3 weeks?

Sorry, just had to get that rant off my chest. :)

Competing??

I have a small pet peeve to vent about for a moment - constantly competitive people.

I have seen this happening a lot on Twitter and Facebook lately. Not just to me either. I think it needs to be said that people can be sympathetic and empathetic without trying to "one up" someone else. For us military spouses, Twitter is a great place to vent and get helpful advise and hear about other spouses' experiences. And I LOVE to hear from more experienced people. This Army life is nuts and it's very nice to hear about the problems others have so we can all learn from their experiences.

But trying to one up another person in their lowest moments does not help! We've all seen it happen. Someone will tweet that they are having a bad day because of x, y, and z. And someone else will tweet back, well not only do I have x, y, and z, but I also had a, b, and c happen to me today. Or my personal favorite- I hate ______ because of this and this! And someone will actually reply back to them, I hate ______ more because this and this and THIS! What's the point?? Cant we all be sympathetic or reply to our fellow military spouses without wanting to become the center of attention?? It's perfectly fine to just say, sorry hun, I hope it all passes soon. Or even, yeah, my day sucked too, lets have a Twitter wine fest (yeah, I stole that from last week, I still think it's a good/fun idea!)!!

I think this "one up-ing" shows a real immaturity on their part. I don't need that in my life right now. I have unfollowed a few people because I don't want to hear them constantly try to compete with someone else's bad day or feelings. All humans need someone to validate their feelings, but competing with them doesn't help anyone. If you have helpful advise or a similar experience that can help them out, bring it on! But dont compete with them!! Let them have their moment to express themselves without trying to one up them.

And sadly, I know the people that this blog is SERIOUSLY aimed at will never read it. But I needed to get that off my chest.

Army wife guilt?

Is this a normal thing?

Do you feel guilty?

That you get to stay home.

That you arent in danger.

That you arent miles from your home.

That you get to sleep in your bed.

That you arent at war.

Wife vs. Army Wife?

I have read some stuff lately that has really bothered me. And since I have all this time on my hands, I've had time to think about it. I struggle with the label "army wife" on a personal level anyway. But when these young army wives and girlfriends use the term to define themselves, it really makes me wonder about them as individual people. I know many people just use the term as what it simply means, you are married to an army soldier. It doesn't define you. Its not a special club. Its not a cookie cutter mold of who you're supposed to be. And when said to another "army wife" it says it all.

My problem with the term is not only the generalizations that can be made, but the fact that many young women want to use it as a special buzz word, like a secret hand shake for some club. I read something the other day... "I am many things... But most importantly, I am the Girlfriend of a United States Soldier." Well, let me tell you something my friends, I am many things, but "army wife" isn't at the top of my list.

I'm an individual.
I'm a strong independent women.
I'm a wife.
I'm a daughter.
I'm a sister.
I'm a niece.
I'm an aunt.
I'm a friend.
I'm a scholar.
I'm an employee.
I'm a co-worker
I'm Rigel's *person*.

The "I'm an army wife" hat doesn't come on until all of those other commitments are taken care of. I love my husband. It honestly doesn't matter to me if he's a soldier or a teacher or a ph.d physicist. I would love him no matter what. I knew Joe long before he ever touched an Army uniform. I'm incredibly proud of the path he's chosen, but his life doesn't define mine. His job may direct our lives, but it doesn't make me who I am. Honestly, his job doesn't even make him who he is. It might dictate his haircut, but not the kind of person he is inside.

I worry about these young women that fight so hard to be "army wives." I never even thought about the term when I was getting married. I wasn't a "future army wife." I was the future Mrs. Sutliff.

So what happens when being an "army girlfriend" doesn't work out? What happens when you get a divorce? I've seen far too many people still saying they are a "former army wife." I honestly just don't get it. Is it the drama? Is it the romance that most think our lives consist of? And of course I've seen far to many young girls chase those ACUs. That confuses me the most. So you're dating him just because he's a soldier? Just because he wears a uniform? Let me tell you, I know LOTS of soldiers. And many of them are just scumbags and losers!! Just because he is sporting the uniform and the haircut doesn't make him a stand-up guy. But that's a whole different blog. My point is, be with the guy because you love him and he loves you, not because you want to get on Twitter and label yourself as an Army wife or girlfriend.

Yes, when in conversation, the term speaks volumes. I can say to another army wife or to an army wife in a generation or two ahead of me (someone like my grandmother), yes, I'm an army wife. And they can imagine the PCS moves and the deployment worries and the shitty FRGs and the lonely nights and even the perks of military life and the amazing friendships we make. But they still know nothing about ME.

And so I struggle with labeling myself that. Even struggled naming my blog that. But I have two blogs. Did you know that? I have another blog just for ME and my non-army wife life. Because I need somewhere to forget about all the stupid Army jargon that's been thrown at me for the last 4 years. I need a place where I can be a daughter and a sister and a dog lover without the weird overtones and connotations of being labeled an Army wife.

I really dont mean to offend anyone. It's just an observation that I've made over the last few months. I want these young women to take value in their lives outside of their husband's career and haircut.

Deployment "readiness"

I was already in bed last night when Joe came to bed. We were snuggling when all of a sudden I get a random question.

"Sara, I'm probably deploying in March. Are you ready?"

How do you answer your husband and a question like this? So my response?

"Sweetie, I'm not deploying. You are. Are YOU ready?"

And maybe that's exactly what I was supposed to say (psychology degree finally paying off!). I think he needed to talk about the deployment and our relationship. We joked and poked fun at the deployment and a long distance marriage. We talked about coming home and acclimating to "normal" life. We talked about OPSEC and phone calls. We talked about expectations.

I was afraid that Joe wouldnt talk about some things. He's a very private person; not quick to express his feelings and fears. He's not one to show weakness, even to me, his wife and girlfriend of almost a decade! We have a great relationship, and do long distance very well. Joe was in Germany for two years. And between phone cards and Yahoo! messenger, we did pretty good. But it means a lot to me that he wants to make sure I'm ready or prepared for the possible outcome. I will always hope for the best. But I think he knows it's my nature to prepare for the worst. So on this Thanksgiving Eve, I am thankful for a realistic, loving, supportive husband who loves me enough to open up and talk about his fears and worries.

I love you sweetie! And I'll be as ready as I can be when that day comes.

Thank you Hellcat Betty!

I just wanted to say thank you to Hellcat Betty for the Lovely Blog award. I am very honored that you would think of me!

I started this blog as an outlet and a way to learn more about "being" an Army wife. I never would have imagined that I would write things anyone would want to read. Through blogger and Twitter, I've had the honor to meet so many GREAT Army wives, girlfriends, brats, and supporters. You all have given me some great guidance and have been there for me when others (i.e. civilians) just don't understand. Thank you all. And again, thank you Hellcat Betty!!

Operation COURAGE (from Vino in Vo)

From Vino in Vo by Christy Krueger

C - Concentrate on the things you can change, not on things you cannot.

O - Open up to your spouse and the social support groups near you- FRG, peers.

U - Uphold a positive attitude- even if you have to fake it sometimes.

R - Retain family routines- eat at the dinner table, keep your son's football practices.

A - Activate yourself- exercise, travel, keep your mind busy.

G - Grow- develop, strive, and continue individual and family goals.

E - Examine the rumor mills. They are probably incorrect.

An excerpt from Vino in Vo about COURAGE: "COURAGE is the operational blueprint in surviving the deployment blues.... Read them. Live by them. And when you're in an emotional black hole, read them again and live by them once more. While our men fight the war over there, we must win the battles here. ... Keep your chins raised high, and go be an Army wife."

I think certain things happen to you when you need them the most. I was going through a weird time when this book fell in my lap (Thanks Shannon!). Reading it took me a while, but only because I needed to soak in the words and apply them to my life. It's about three Army wives living in Italy while their husbands are deployed to Operation Iraqi Freedom. Three completely different women. Three completely different personalities. Three completely different histories. And how they make it work without their man.

I want to give the book to Lucy. But then again, I don't. It's not a happy book. It's sad and sticky. I spent the whole time waiting for someone to die. Debating which husband was okay to spare in the story. And I cried. A lot. But I needed to cry. Does that make any sense? At that time in my life, I needed to cry about these things. I needed to cry about the idea of losing my husband, in a metaphorical sense. Is it odd that a chapter in a book shaped the ideas and outcomes of the next two weeks of my life? It did. It's an amazing book. Speaks volumes about the ways women cope with the world, not just Army wives, but all women. Speaks volumes about the importance of friends and support systems. I've never had a lot of friends, one or two close people sometimes, mostly men, oddly enough. But now, I have the best friends in the world. I have a group of women that I know I can go to when I need a little hug. And it's amazing. I joke about "Army wives clubs" and secret handshakes, but these women will be my best friends forever. No matter where they move or what they're doing. Are we in a secret club? No. No secret handshake. But there's a look. A look that we all know. It's sympathy and empathy and a constant invitation for dinner or coffee all rolled up into one simple glance. It's being able to pick up the phone when you haven't spoken to her in weeks and start the conversation right were it ended. It's knowing that right now matters, because your life can change with every breath you take.

The COURAGE thing is oddly simple in my opinion. I think it takes far more than that to get through a year without your husband. The courage that Army wives (or girl friends and fiances) hold is so much more than that. But I thought I would post it. I know a few people out there that are floundering, that need a little push in the right direction. This book was my push. I hope you find yours.

What is a military wife?

They may look different and each is wonderfully unique, but this what they have in common.

Lots of moving---
Moving.
Moving.
Moving far from home.
Moving two cars and two dogs----all riding with HER of course.
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house.
Moving curtains that won't fit.
Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends, moving toward new friends.
Moving her most important luggage; her trunkful of memories.

Often waiting-
Waiting, waiting, waiting for housing;
waiting for orders;
waiting for deployment;
waiting for reunion;
waiting for phones calls;
waiting for the new curtains to arrive;
waiting for him to come home for dinner----AGAIN!

They call her 'military dependent', but she knows better.
She can balance a checkbook.
Handle the yard work.
Fix a noisy toilet.
She is intimately familiar with drywall, anchors, and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move, -- all with ONE Power of Attorney.
She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
Reinvents her career with every PCS; locates a house in the desert, the arctic, or the deep south and learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.
She is fiercely IN-dependent.

Military Wives are somewhat hasty.
They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career alternatives, and friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.
Military Wives quickly learn to value each other.
They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network and accept offers of friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil.

Military Wives have a common bond.
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands.
His commitment is unique.
He doesn't have a job, he has a 'mission'
he can't just decide to quit
he's on-call for his country 24/7
but for you, he's the most unreliable guy in town!

His language is foreign:
TDY
PCS
OPR
ACC
BDU
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long-distance link to keep them informed the glue that holds them together.

Military Wife has her moments----
She wants to wring his neck,
dye his uniform pink,
and refuse to move to Siberia.
But she pulls herself together.

Give her a few days,
a travel brochure,
a long hot bath,
a pledge to the flag,
and a wedding picture.

And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.

Why?
What for?
How come?

You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man who puts duty first.
Who salutes the flag.
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military husband,

she will remain his Military wife.

What is an Army Wife?

What is a MILITARY Wife? They may look different and each is wonderfully unique, but this what they have in common.

Lots of moving---

Moving.

Moving.

Moving far from home.

Moving two cars and two dogs----all riding with HER of course.

Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house.

Moving curtains that won't fit.

Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.

Moving away from friends, moving toward new friends.

Moving her most important luggage; her trunkful of memories.

Often waiting-

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting for housing.

Waiting for orders.

Waiting for deployment.

Waiting for reunion.

Waiting for phones calls.

Waiting for the new curtains to arrive.

Waiting for him to come home for dinner----AGAIN!

They call her 'military dependent', but she knows better.

She can balance a checkbook.

Handle the yard work.

Fix a noisy toilet.

She is intimately familiar with drywall, anchors, and toggle bolts.

She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move -- all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.

Reinvents her career with every PCS.

Locates a house in the desert, the arctic, or the deep south and learns to call them all 'home'.

She MAKES them all home.

She is fiercely IN-dependent.

Military Wives are somewhat hasty.

They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career alternatives, and friendships.

They don't have 15 years to get to know people.

Their roots are short but flexible.

They plant annuals for themselves and Perennials for those who come after them.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other.

They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network and accept offers of friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil.

Military Wives have a common bond.

The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands, his commitment is unique.

He doesn't have a job,

he has a 'mission'.

He can't just decide to quit. He's on-call for his country 24/7 but for you, he's the most unreliable guy in town!

His language is foreign:

TDY

PCS

OPR

ACC

BDU

And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.

She is the long-distance link to keep them informed the glue that holds them together.

Military Wife has her moments----

She wants to wring his neck,

dye his uniform pink,

and refuse to move to Siberia.

But she pulls herself together.

Give her a few days,

a travel brochure,

a long hot bath,

a pledge to the flag,

and a wedding picture.

And she goes.

She packs.

She moves.

She follows.

Why?

What for?

How come?

You may think it is because she has lost her mind.

But actually it is because she has lost her heart.

It was stolen from her by a man...

Who puts duty first.

Who salutes the flag.

And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military husband,

She will remain his Military wife.