Eighty Percent

Did you know that there's an 80% chance of getting divorced while in grad school? They wait until you're in stats class to let you in on this little piece of trivia.

I was thinking about this number as I left for class last Thursday. I hate leaving them so much, work, class, studying. Sometimes it feels like I'm never at home. But since Joe's been on leave, he's made me dinner every night before class. He listens to me vent about my professors and assignments. And rubs my head when I come home with a headache. When I heard about the divorce rate, compounded by all of the military family stats, my head started to spin. I told Joe about it. After a short pause, he told me that I would always have all of his support because he wants me to do my best, no matter what. Our future depends on this degree (no pressure, Sara). His ability to ETS depends on this degree. I finally decided that I should just let it go and feel lucky that I have so much support from Joe. It feels very shelfish though. After being the Army wife for almost 4 years now, dropping everything for his career, it feels very selfish to need some help.

My grandpa used to tell his children, marriage isnt a 50/50 split. Sometimes your partner cant give all 50%. You have to be willing to stick around and make up the difference. And sometimes you cant give 50%, all you can give is 20% or maybe none at all. But you have to be married to someone that understands that and will support you anyway. My mother said this saying became real for her while she was in grad school getting her masters in architecture. She had a husband and 2 children and couldnt give anything to her family, school took it all. But my dad stuck it out, as hard as it was. They've been married for almost 30 years now.

Thankfully, Joe and I don't have kids yet, but there are some weeks where I feel like I certainly haven't help up my end of the deal, but come Friday night, Joe and I snuggle on the couch like all is right with the world. School isnt forever. But I'll become more busy before this journey is over.

Just like the deployment separation, I'm hoping this experience makes us stronger as a couple and more solid in our marriage. Life is all about how you react to things. If we know the possible outcomes, we wont have the need for the gut reactions. Knowledge is power. That 80% divorce rate is the most likely outcome. But if we know that already, we're ahead of the game and can fight for our marriage when we need to.

Tuition Assistance

As of 1 October, the National Guard will be getting tuition assistance, just like the Active Duty Army gets now.

I would like to know your thoughts. I've heard some pretty radical gut reactions. I'll share my opnions later. But I would really like to know what the general public thinks of this change.

WEEK 30!!

Day 211

Even Joe has said that the time is flying by for him. Week 30, wow. It honestly seems like I dropped him off on post only a month ago. It's so nice to hear Joe doing so much better. The new rooms and better food has gone a long way. Although, we got a company-wide email about toilet seats. Joe was complaining about them long before the email was sent out. Apparently none of the bathrooms have seats. And most dont have doors.

I went to my orientation at the University of the Rockies last Friday. And my first class was last night. I am so excited about school. I feel like such a nerd. I think back to grade school and even high school. I wasnt one of those kids that dreaded the end of summer. I had all of my notebooks and folders color coded as soon as the grade supply lists hit our local Wal-Mart. Anyway, I have an assignment that I've been mulling over in my head since last night. I wont bore you with the details. But I'm gonna read up on the subject and then write like crazy!

Honestly, it's so nice to have something to think about besides this deployment.

Work is NUTS!! Like we all expected, a new contractor took over and all hell broke loose. A LOT of people were laid off. At last count, I was told, only 9 of 24 people were given an offer letter. Thankfully, I was one of those people. I count myself very lucky, as I was only hired 5 months ago. I need the money, even the little money we will be paid. Just as a quick reference, we are making 36% of our initial pay. Our hours were cut by half and we got roughly a $5 pay cut. It sucks!! But the silver lining? I will have plenty of time to study and go to school. And next term I can sign up for 2 classes knowing I will have plenty of time. But yeah, I'll have to take out a loan now. I was planning on paying for at least one of those 2 classes with cash. But alas. It'll all work out. It always does.

Fall has officially come to Colorado Springs. It's fairly chilly most days. Overcast. Sometimes windy. It's so funny when I happen to talk to my family back home. It's still low 90s in the South.

Also, my father turned 50 this weekend!! And my sister in law had a birthday on Tuesday.

All this just leads up to Winter in my head. And I can safely say, Joe will be back this Winter!! As soon as the first snow falls, I will be a happy Sara!

Week 21

DAY 148

Joe's R&R is so close I can't contain myself. The closer it gets, the harder it is to breathe. We talk about our plans and I feel like I have to stand up and pace because I am just so excited! We're gonna have a BLAST. We have so much planned!

The last week has been pretty exciting too. Patty, aka @mommytaco, came to Colorado Springs to (Scentsy) party with us. It was so much fun. And our party was a great success.

And I went to a luncheon at the University of the Rockies on Tuesday. We're seriously considering me going back to school to get my MA in Psychology. The luncheon was an hour and a half long, 3 hours later I walked out with the admissions application thinking about how I could find the money to go back to school. I miss psychology so much. I loved my undergrad degree. I would love to be in the mix again, studying new theories, making up my own, having someone listen to my opinion because it's AWESOME! LOL, I was very good at psychology as an undergrad. I truly found my passion. And then I could actually get a job using my degree, helping people, honoring my talent, making a difference.

And Joe could leave the Army. He's been seriously talking about that too. But one of us has to be the bread winner. I guess it's my turn. I don't mind. I would be doing something I love. I HATE that he hates his job and we cant do anything about it. I doubt he's a Soldier at heart. He's proud of his path. I'm proud of his choices. But I never thought he was a lifer. He proposed to me, as a lifer, saying that this would be our life for 15+ years. But I never thought he would be in that long. He's been in 5 years so far. And I really think he's done. His contract doesn't end for almost 3 more years. Gives me plenty of time to get a good degree and a viable job.

All in all, I'm doing great. 21 weeks down. It's so hard to believe it's been so long since I've seen Joe. I'm so sad that I have gotten so used to being alone. It's a hard thought to swallow. I don't think about him being gone anymore. I don't think about coming home to an empty house. It's just a fact now. And I'm so afraid that I will have to start all over when his R&R is over. But I have done this for this long, and we'll be fairly close to half way done when he goes back. So I only have to do this again, right? At least, that's what I'm telling myself.